tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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