he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
