the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize