I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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