This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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