Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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