WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize