So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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