so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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