Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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