forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
