Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
