we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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