That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
