You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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