just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
