Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
