He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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