my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
