Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
