I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
