Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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