; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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