Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
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I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
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A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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