I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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