That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
