We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
