i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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