I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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