Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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