It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Let's paint friendship bongs
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
