Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
