Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
