You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
