I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
