My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize