So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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