it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
