the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
