Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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