If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
