cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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