Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
