i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
