i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
