I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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