All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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