Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
