he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
