next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
