I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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