your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
