Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
