dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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