I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
