I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
