he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
