You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
