They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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