90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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