I heard we made out
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My balls are so social today.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
