There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize