in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
