dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
