it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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